Showing posts with label positive thinking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label positive thinking. Show all posts

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Critical What?

I have been studying the latest Algebra textbook from the college library in efforts to not repeat the same course I took three times in High School.  It has proven to be quite a challenge.  I want to be a writer, not an Algebra teacher.  "Why do I need this?"  I asked this question at least 15 times a semester and always got the same answer, "Because you do."  Don't those math teachers know they're using improper grammar?  How did they land that job?  They couldn't even explain to me how math translated into real world experience.  Well, I'm starting to figure out where it applies to me, considering I'll probably never become a builder, a designer or an engineer.


I have a few theories.  

1) Algebra unlocks the half of my brain that writing almost never knocks on.  Logic and reason, problem solving, a drive to accomplish more than expected.  Without the painful Algebra experience I might never put down the pen and think like a man.  I get it.  No wonder I have four kids and no career.  I was the creative, nurturing type.  But there's more to me than that!  Algebra will help get me there.  It will put that frustration and tediousness to good use.  One day I'm going to have to use these logical brain functions to - I don't know, work harder!  


2) Algebra is preparing me for the boss who never answers my question in a clear fashion.  We all know the type, they usually answer a question with another question or sometimes just a condescending look. I'll take this newly unlocked critical thinking process to the real world and make better decisions.  So when I get that question to question response I'll find the answer myself and later not have to ask at all.  I'll grow a pair, so to speak.  

3)  Algebra pushes frustrated feelings to such an extreme that coping skills are a natural byproduct.  That seems pretty fair to me.  Less grumbling and complaining, more solving.  As a woman I was always allowed to just express my feelings and not many people held me accountable for finding a solution.  It's something I realized during the last year or two as I explored what was making me so unhappy with my life.  It's where "shut up and do something about it was born".  A good friend, who never holds back on calling me on the bullshit, had inspired me to say it.  I wrote it down that night.  I will never forget that empowering feeling that followed.  Complaining never got me anywhere.  I was finally looking in the mirror of my own discontent and saw that I held the solutions. 



So you see, algebra is a locked door.  I have made peace with the work it involves to acquire the key and am looking forward to see all the worlds it will open up into someday!  

Until then, 2(3x + 4) = 3x + 2[3(x-1) + 2]!




Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Through My Looking Glass



Blogging is not something I have taken any time to do in recent months.  So much has changed since that first and only post that it's almost hard for me to read now.  So long, handsome husband!  To be clear there is no fondness left in that farewell.  The man, whom was never actually my husband, turned out to be a liar.  As it turns out nearly everything I ever believed to be true about him rounded out to be a facade he had created to convince the world he belongs.  Learning the truth the hard way has set me free!  


To quote MLK Jr., "Free at last, free at last.  Thank God, Almighty, we are free at last!"  


It's exciting to realize I am meeting my goals.  I am enrolled in college.  I am in the active process of quitting smoking.  I found God, and what that means to me is entirely personal - but suffice to say it's the same God you're thinking of - regardless of who you and what you believe.  I've discovered my political affiliations and will probably never bother to bring them up again.  I am no longer interested in going Vegan.  Have you ever eaten seaweed?  I now know for certain that it's not for me!  Finally, proving to myself and the kids something about success being a state of mind? Please!  Success is shutting up and doing something about it when life gets hard.  


I've been so busy moving forward in the last few months that I haven't taken a single minute to reflect on where that journey has taken me.  I've joined the ranks of modern society and started using a cell phone.



  I also got a kick ass pair of boots and a really bad haircut.  


Not everything is easy but I've thoroughly enjoyed the challenges.  Well, almost all of them.  At the moment I have to learn how to remove toys from the toilet and reseal it to the bathroom floor.  I am not looking forward to that adventure.  Plucky Duck was cute when ducky went down the hole, because ducky came back.  My boys aren't so lucky.  


To bring it all to a close tonight, I realize I have new goals - pushing forward one day at a time has left me wanting more from life.  I am a single mother, sure, but I want to be an independent woman.  I want a career that doesn't suck up my whole life but adds life to it.  I want my kids to be proud of me.  I want to be proud of myself.  Most of all I want to live my life in a way where I don't worry about what anyone else thinks.