Learning to Live

Play the song!  

Six months later ...

I have learned from everything and everyone that has crossed my path. I have learned that I can do anything. I have learned that I am worth everything. I have learned that my kids deserve the world.

I have learned to open the door and let whatever is behind it teach me. I have learned not to let the negative feelings and the fear of the unknown control me. 

I have learned that not everyone is a liar and going to hurt me.  I have learned not to judge people for their mistakes and learned not to allow them to judge me for mine.  

I have learned to let go and to LIVE.

Lessons that have changed me so much I hardly recognize 'her' in my reflection now at all. 

I am happy. I am learning not to be ashamed of my decisions or embarrassed of my mistakes.

In the last 2 months I have smiled more than ever and reconnected with pure laughter!  My cheeks hurt at the end of some days.

I made careless mistakes ...

I ran out of gas once. 

I left my headlights on once. 

I fell up the stairs once (maybe twice). 

I lost and found my drivers license.  

I sang karaoke - very very badly. 

I left the cap off the oil on my car.  

Yet, here I am - laughing about it. 

I am just so happy to be here and alive and finally, actually, really ... living.

Falling. No Matter How Hard.

No matter how cautious, no matter how prepared ... 

Life knocks you down.  

The bravest of us truly embrace the fall.  

Falling isn't a sign of weakness, 

It's a willingness to breathe the freedom of letting go.  

Standing in a safe place, 

never taking a risk, 

isn't freedom at all.  

It's a shackled existence bound to an inevitable end. 

Both frightening and exhilarating, falling is how we grow.  

Growing comes from enduring trials, 

overcoming obstacles, 

letting down our guards... 

and living life.  

Living not only in the moment,

but living in the present.  

Becoming who we are doesn't happen because of some mysterious plan;

It becomes of all the decisions and mistakes we make,

and how we chose to face the consequences.

As people we have a choice ...

Life life to the fullest - or simply die.

I choose to live. 

I will take the risks.  

I will let myself fall.  

I will grow from each new day.  

I will give everything I have to the unknown, 

and accept the outcome as how I am meant to 

BECOME.  

Just say "Yes"

I grew up in a sheltered little box.  I am not ashamed of that, but it is the truth.  I loved the security that came from always knowing exactly what to expect from life.  I was comfortable for a long time.  There were things I never tried; things I never cared to experience.  I wasn't missing out on things I knew nothing of...

That's all over now.  

I moved to this little mountain town a couple years ago and until six months ago, I only left my house to go to the library and the grocery store.  I had no idea what I was missing.  This place has so much more to live for than I ever dreamed possible.   It wasn't until recently that I decided to try new things as often as possible.  At the time, I had no idea what I was in for.

Now, when someone suggests I should try something new I jump at the chance.  I find a way to say "Yes".  I've broken out of my shell and am living as hard as I can, while I can.  I had this crazy idea that I had to wait until all my kids were in college to start living for me.  I was so far from right, it's a shame.  I can live for them and for me.  It's a simple matter of working that balance.

I am grateful for every new opportunity that's come along.  Sure, it's a little scary to just say yes and run with it... but it's equally exhilarating too.  So to the future for my life, now I say ... BRING IT ON!

Scouts

I learned that a Scout is a truck, not at all like a Jeep.  (and if you call it one a Scout owner is bound to kick you out of his truck)

                                                                                                                   I learned that climbing rocks while riding shotgun 

in a Scout is one hell of a good time.

I learned that when you go out 4 wheeling, something always breaks 

and that alone is not enough to end the adventure.

I also learned that demolition
doesn't always involve an arena.  

Sometimes it starts with a broken truck.   (a Jeep in this case; one that had it coming - or so I'm told by a Scout owner)



I learned that riding shotgun during a demolition is way more fun than watching!

Best of all I learned that a Jeep is much smaller than my car.
Well, this one is now anyway!

Drive

I don't know how tomorrow will end, but I am excited to face it head on! I am learning to embrace the power I have to make the changes in my life happen.  I sometimes need to remind myself that I am the one in the driver's seat.  

I have spent the last few months taking on new challenges, meeting new people, making a few new friends and building a life of my own with one new experience at a time.  I realized that God didn't shut a door and open a window, he shut a window and opened a hundred doors.  Every person I've talked with recently has heard me say it.  I am embracing that with everything in me.  Every day is a chance to try something new!

  

Last week I was invited to go 4 wheeling with a crowd of people almost 50 strong!  I thought to myself 'Now that's something I have never done before'.  It's completely different from the kinds of invitations I normally encounter and I am really excited about that.  In the past I would have declined.  I admit it took me several days to realize how important it was to me that I accept the invite and so I quickly arranged to co-op some babysitting with a good friend.

Tomorrow I will walk through one of those "hundred doors".  I am nervous and excited and grateful for the whole opportunity to participate. Most of all I am looking forward to the adrenaline rush that comes with trying new things.